Emptiness.  This one word sums up how I have been feeling for the past week or so.  I'm back in Saint Louis after a valiant attempt at 2nd Stage in Spain for the European Q School.  I arrived several days prior to the onset of competition and formulated a great game plan for the week and was ready to go out and execute with a flawless attitude.  I give myself credit for doing just that.  Through the first 3 days I played steady, well thought out golf and found myself in 17th place.  Exactly on the number to get through if I could maintain my position to the finish.  In fact, I had no clue where I stood at the time.  I was fully concerned with playing my game to the best of my ability all week, and letting my positioning to the field take care of itself. 

    Unfortunately, no amount of preparation would be enough to get me ready for what was in store the final round.  The wind blew harder than any wind I have ever seen on a golf course.  By my estimation, there were wind gusts of 45-50mph.  Two of the flagsticks snapped in half from reports I heard.  It was 100 percent fair because the entire field had to play in these conditions, but it definitely brought the element of luck into play at times.  I made it to my 15th hole of the day having scrapped and clawed my way to +3 up until that point in the round.  I reached a par 5 that was straight down wind.  40mph of breeze at my back made me feel like Popeye standing on that tee.  I split the middle and had 218 yards to the hole.  I was in  between a 7 iron and 8iron.  I had to cover a water hazard, so I opted for the 7 iron. 

    I made a good golf swing.  Sadly, I selected the wrong club.  My ball landed in the middle of the green and bounded long of the green trickling into a hazard long.  I had to drop on a shaved bank that was tilted towards the water.  Under the rules of golf, as soon as my ball came to rest after dropping, my ball was in play.  I was very concerned with my ball rolling back into the water due to the ferocious winds, thus I quick hit my chip, and I completely whiffed the chip shot.  I had to settle for a double bogey on the hole, when I made two perfect swings to begin the hole.  It is hard to pin the results of a tournament on one hole, but it is hard not to keep going back to the 15th hole in the final round looking for answers.  Had I made the same swing with an 8 iron, I would have advanced to the Finals.

    I made it back home to Saint Louis last week in a very bad place mentally.  I had pushed my chips all in this year, just to see it all blow up in my face and realize I was back to square one staring at the onset of another cold, dark Winter back home in Missouri.  I sat at my home on the couch, filling myself with every junk food imaginable, and just kept muttering to myself "Why me"?  After a week of this self imposed pity party, I began to take an internal look at myself.  In life when you are down, you can be lazy and settle, or you can get up off the mat and get back to work with an exceptional attitude.  I've chosen the latter.  Life is about controlling what you can control.  Hard work and attitude are two of those things.  The results will follow.  While this year from a production standpoint left me in the exact place I was a year ago, I have to take confidence out of the fact that I saw some great results during the regular season.  23 times this year I broke par in competition, and I fought my way into contention this Fall in several events.  I haven't been in that position in a long time.

    Moving forward, I plan on engaging in a similar off season as last Winter, but not without a bit of competition to keep me sharp.  I'm going to head to Texas for the first part of December to play in several two day Adams Tour Winter Series events.  I'm playing great golf, so I want to close out 2013 mentally on better terms than the bitter end in Spain.  After that, I am going to enjoy the Holiday season and keep getting better under the heated practice facilities at Norwood Hills.  I'm also going to narrow my focus in the gym.  I'm not just going to get strong, I'm going to get prison strong.  I've chosen golf as my career path.  You are either all in or all out.  To be the best, I have to outwork my competition every single day and have the best attitude of anyone playing.  I have to push myself by setting clear and challenging goals.  I have to be patient as well.  The results will come from following this process.  I wish everyone a safe and happy end to 2013.  2014 will be the best year yet.  It's time to go fill that tank back to full.   I want to leave you by posting a few motivating words from Teddy Roosevelt a good friend of mine shared with me several years back.  Thanks for reading and all the support.

The Man in the Arena



 It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. 



    Greetings from the southern coast of Spain.  I am here getting ready for the 2nd stage of European Tour Q School which begins Saturday November 2nd at Las Colinas Resort.  I finished up my travel yesterday, as I flew from Dallas to Madrid.  I then took a 3 hour train ride to the southern coast.  From there, I rented a car and drove an hour to my final destination.  It was funny that I traveled nearly 6,000 miles yesterday, but I got severely lost 2 miles from my destination.  The resort is set in a very secluded part of the countryside.  Coming in at nightfall and having been up for some 24 straight hours kept me from zeroing in on my target.  I spent 2 hours driving in circles, until I finally stumbled upon Las Colinas Resort.  Such is life, and international travel can keep you on your toes.  I learned the hard way!  You can follow along this week under the q school tab at www.europeantour.com . 

    I unfortunately finished up my US Q School a bit prematurely two weeks ago in Houston, Texas.  I missed by 3 strokes, and when you add that up after 4 days, I played the course in 0.75 strokes too many each day.  That is a FINE line.  I by no means played that poorly, but I was just a fraction off in most all segments of my game, and add that all up, and it leads to poor results.  The Woodlands CC in Houston called for precise iron play, and my iron play just wasn't as sharp as I wanted, leading to a bunch of really long birdie putts. 

    I had the last two weeks to make adjustments and decompress from US Q School.  I was immensely disappointed, but I knew that I had much to look forward to.  My game feels great and my attitude moving forward is right where I want it to be.  In years past, I had a tough time getting over missing at the US Q School as I headed back to Europe to compete at second stage.  I've made sure that I came over here with a clear mind and a wholehearted optimistic process.  What is done is done.  We are scheduled to have a great week of weather here in Spain, with abundant sunshine and temperatures in the 70s for the entirety.  From the picture of the 13th hole above, you can see that the course is in fantastic shape.  I would best describe the geography as hilly with a definite desert feel.  There are plenty of bare, rocky outcroppings that remind me of  the southern desert in Arizona.   I am ready to go out this week and play to the best of my ability.  I've put in the hard work, now it is time to go grasp the opportunity.  Thanks for reading and your support!  This week is going to be a great one!

 

 

      I had a very busy month of September and with good reason.  I traveled both far and abroad on my quest to keep building momentum for the Fall.  I left you in Columbia, Missouri as I was about to embark on the Missouri Open.  I played a great 1st round and shot a nice 69, but the last two days left me with much room for improvement as I struggled to find consistency in most areas of my game.  Another cut made, but I had to regroup and press on.  I sandwiched a small two day event in Saint Louis, which proved to be very beneficial.  It was a 2 day pro am where I played my own ball and joined 4 amateurs.  It is always fun helping average amateurs in these formats, but sometimes you have to throw your traditional etiquette standards out the window because my amateur partners are not completely aware of the ins and outs of competitive golf.  This was really good for me because it pushed me out of my comfort zone having to teach my group on the fly how to tend flagsticks, not walk on my line, or just flat out stand in the right place. 

 

    It sounds horrific, but I had a great time doing just that.  I managed to play some awesome golf along the way too.  I was in 2nd place heading into the final round.  Halfway through my final round I found out I was still right by the lead.  One of the other pros, Bob Gaus, after a poor 1st round, had shot up the board with an incredible 61 to post seven under for the two days.  I needed one more birdie with 4 holes to play to get in a playoff.  I started number crunching, and that is usually a bad thing on the course.  Instead of focusing on the process, I was in tune with the final result.  As you can guess, rather than make that one more birdie, I went the other way.  I finished in 3rd place, but licked my wounds and realized the next time I was in that position to keep my head down and finish the race.

    I had been playing great golf, and it continued at the Nebraska Open.  I played an awesome round of golf in round 2 to get myself right in the mix heading into the final round.  This time I was determined to follow the process of getting the right result through sticking to my game start to finish.  The final round played very difficult with cool conditions and a steady wind that made scoring difficult.  I played very solidly in the final round, but my undoing came from a lack of scoring on the par 5's.  I was hole high in two on all 3 par 5's, but walked away with 3 pars.  I needed to convert.  The last hole is a tricky sharp dogleg left par 4 where you can cut off the corner or play conservatively to the right, but it leaves you a longer second shot in.  I played aggressive and took off some of the corner.  Unfortunately my perfect drive struck the last tree as it was descending into the fairway and kicked deep into the trees.  I had to punch out and settle for a bogey.  My par 5 play and bad break on the last left me in 7th place and 4 shots off the 1st place mark.  I played well, I just needed that last little oomph to get over the threshold.

    I drove through the night from Nebraska via car to Chicago, IL to play in a one day qualifier for the Chicago Open.  The course was Flossmoor CC, host of a previous US Amateur and PGA Championship.  A true championship test.  It was the first time I had to wear sleeves in about 4 months and I was playing the course blind.  Without making any more excuses, I didn't have my best stuff on a tough day and tough course and battled to a 78.  I stuck around to find out I would be in a 4 for 2 playoff for alternate positions.  I collected myself, and calmly made a nice par to grab one of the 2 alternate spots.  I found out last week I was granted access to the tournament which begins October 7th.  It felt really good to gut out a position in the event even after having such a tough day.

    Last week, the true test began.  All the Midwest State Open preparation was obviously for getting ready for the onset of Q School.  I made it into Lisbon, Portugal and spent the 1st 3 days getting over the jet lag and preparing for the event.  My first round opened up in shaky fashion.  I had some nervous energy I couldn't flush, and I signed for a 75 to get things going.  I settled down in round 2 for a 71 to get myself back in the picture.  The 3rd round really for most was the breaking point.  It is a very tough golf course and round 3 provided a stern test with high winds that made scoring an adventure.  I fought really hard, but could only muster a 77 on the day, which left me 3 shots off the pace for advancing to 2nd stage.  I knew I had to dig deep the final round and play a good round of golf. 

    The final round provided BRUTAL conditions at the onset.  I was the 3rd group off in the morning and I was in full rain gear as the rain at times was coming down sideways.  I got up and down on my first 2 holes for great pars, then started the engine with a phenomenal eagle on the 3rd.  I continued to hit great shot after great shot until my 8th hole where play was suspended due to weather for 5 hours.  When play resumed, my final 10 holes were in much better conditions, but I had to finish the race.  I did exactly that and then some and signed for a 64.  The low round of the day and I had to play in the toughest of the weather for the longest period of time.  Why is there a picture of a freight train on the top of the screen?  Because I closed like one in the final round.  I advanced to 2nd stage in Spain the first week of November and it felt amazing to do so when I absolutely had to.  As I said, I have the Chicago Open next week.  After that I head to Houston, Texas for my first stage of US Q School beginning October 15th at the Woodlands.  I have to keep working hard and in order to get the results I want I have to focus on having the best ATTITUDE possible and work on the PROCESS of how to get there.  I'll be back in a month to update you on how things are coming along.  Thanks for the support.

    It has been a busy month since I last left you.  A lot has happened both good and bad, but in life you must carry on no matter what cards you are dealt.  I finished up the Maine Open in the Northeast tip of our country with a great chuckle and a golfing story I will be able to cherish the rest of my life.  I shot a poor 72 the first day to leave me well back of the leaders heading into the final round in this short 36 hole event.  I wanted to set the world on fire with my second round with a bushel of birdies, but that didn't happen.  Far from actually.  I recorded 18 straight pars for an even par 70.  I had birdie putt after birdie putt that slid by the hole.  By the end of my round, I couldn't help but laugh it off.  What stunk even more was the fact that I missed cashing a check by 1 shot as well.  Golf is cruel, but making 18 straight pars was one part maddening and one part glamorous.
 
    From there I headed up to Calgary to try my luck again in the PGA Tour Canada's ATB Financial Classic.  It turned out to be a perfect week of weather, however I was only around for two days on the course to see it.  As I mentioned, this was a great opportunity to kick start something great through this tour with positive results that offers Web.com status incentives, official world golf ranking points on the line, and more.  I unfortunately made the mistake of pressing the first day as I was unable to get that out of my mind.  At the end of the day it is just golf, and there was no reason to get that amped up over a round of golf.  I shot a 77 the first day and put myself basically out of the tournament.  I settled down the second day to a 70, but it was too little too late.  I learned a precious lesson during that first day.  Don't let the magnitude of any event sway my attitude in any form.  Every tournament should be dealt with the same.  I need to formulate a great game plan that is flexible for changing conditions.  I need a strong practice routine leading up to the event, and I need to step up to the first tee fearless whether it is the US Open or heck, the Little Sisters of the Poor Pro Am in middle of nowhere, America.  I didn't do that in Canada.  I quickly moved on and was fortunate to enjoy the next five days with my parents in Banff, Alberta and Lake Louise, Alberta.  Two of the most beautiful places I have laid my 28 year old eyes on.  If you haven't been, I'd strongly encourage a vacation to Banff sometime in your life. 

    I got back to the states and began a 4 week stretch playing in the Midwest for State Opens.  I began at the Iowa Open with strong iron play, but really poor par 5 performance and had to settle for a tie for 36th.  I moved on to the next week in Edmond, Oklahoma for the Oklahoma Open.  Through two rounds I had played absolutely beautifully and stood a few shots off the lead in 6th place heading into the final round.  It was the first time in a long time that I was staring right down the barrel at the leaders.  I can honestly say heading into that last round I was ready to go out and play exceptional golf.  I wasn't focused on results.  I was focused on the process.  My body and mind were all in sync and ready to go get it done.  Unfortunately I just didn't have my best stuff the last round.  I shot 76 and went tumbling down the leaderboard.  I know it was just a one round apparition and I regrouped and forgot about it. 

    Last week, golf was put directly on the back burner.  The picture above is of my 10 year old Golden Retriever, Dooley.  My family had to put her to sleep as her body was ravaged with cancer.  She had a wonderful life, and changed my Mom, Dad, and my life for the better.  Every day of her life she filled us with unconditional love.  It didn't matter if I walked in the door after shooting 80 or it was my birthday, she was there to greet me with a dog smile.  If people could have the attitude dogs resonate all their life, we would all be better for it.  I'm going to miss Dooley, but I will carry with me the attitude and love she gave.  Golf doesn't seem so important now does it?!  This week is the Missouri Open in my old college town of Columbia, Missouri.  A golf tournament is exactly what I needed to get back to the real world and use my time on the course as a way of healing mentally.  I'm ready to keep the momentum rolling and am excited to go to bed each night a better golfer and person than when I woke up.  Regardless of how this week turns out I have a lot to look forward to.  I conclude the state open tour next week with the Nebraska Open, then leave September 20th for the first stage of European Tour Q School in Lisbon, Portugal.  When I return to the US, my first stage of US Q School begins October 15th just north of Houston, Texas at the Woodlands.  The Fall is here and it is a great time to be playing well.  I'm looking forward to enjoying life and competing with a great attitude.  Dooley would be proud.  Look right here in a month for updated results.

    Hello from Augusta, Maine.  While I never envisioned playing golf in Augusta in a professional event outside the state of Georgia, I'm happy to be here.  I'm currently playing in the Maine State  Open.  I've been busy over the last month and a half since I left you last.  As I mentioned, I ventured up to Calgary to try my hand at the PGA Tour Canada's Monday qualifier for the ATB Financial Classic.  I successfully qualified!  It was the first qualifier I made it through in any level in FOUR years.  It felt so good to finally accomplish this, but it was quickly squashed when the event got rained out due to torrential downpours for consecutive days leading up to the event.  Lucky for me they rescheduled the event to next week, so I'm going to try it again up in Calgary. 

    My parents, who rarely get to see me play anymore, are going to accompany me up there as well.  We are going to make a family vacation out of it and visit Banff after the tournament is over.  I'm really looking forward to it.  I competed in four additional Monday qualifiers over the last 45 days and played well in the vast majority of them, but often times you need to play very well to get through.  The "highlight of the low lights" was missing the John Deere Classic by one agonizing shot.  I stood in the middle of the fairway on my 18th hole knowing a birdie would probably give me a decent shot.  I hit a great shot with a wedge that spun fractionally too much and left me a bit longer putt than I expected.  My birdie burned the edge and I had to settle for 68. 

    I played in a 3 day hometown event that I have played in over the last 5 years.  The Metropolitan Open was  a bit of a blip on the radar as I missed the cut by one shot.  Following that, I headed up to Waterloo, Iowa for the Waterloo Open.  I shot a great 66 in the first round to get me in the mix, but a 71 in the final round with poor putting left me well down the leaderboard.  The picture above indicates another of my highlights from Iowa.  I stopped by the Field of Dreams set in Dyersville.  I was fortunate to have the entire property to myself.  It was awesome to sit on the bench where James Earl Jones and Kevin Costner sat 25 years ago during the filming and take it all in.

To get you all the way caught up with the past month and a half, I shot a 72 today in the 1st round of the Maine Open to put me in 50th place heading into the last round.  It is a great course, where the front nine is designed by Stiles and Van Kleek.  These are the same guys that designed my home course,  Norwood Hills in Saint Louis, so I have no excuse for butchering those 9 holes today.  The back nine was designed by Donald Ross, so as you can tell it is an old classic golf course that has withstood the test of time.  I need a sneaky low one to scare the leaders tomorrow, but I'm more than ready to do it.
 
    I have been hitting the ball superbly this summer.  I need to continue to fine tune the scoring element of the game by holing more putts and finding ways to scratch out lower scores from around the greens.  My goal is to update this site once a month for the rest of the year with the highlights that present themselves through the course of my tournament play.  I updated my results section for the year in the right column, so feel free to examine my scores.  I will be playing the same Fall schedule as the previous 3 years with joint assaults of the European and US Q Schools.  I've mentioned it on here many times that everything I do all year points toward peaking for the Fall Qualifying Schools.  This is how a professional golfer advances his career to the next level.  I was very disciplined this year in really holding back the first 1/3 of the year so that I would be really fresh for the last 1/3 of the year.  I have been chomping at the bit to play competitively and that is the exact attitude and mentality I hoped to have come this time of the year.  Everything is pointed in the right direction, and I look forward to giving myself some opportunities to win here in the coming weeks to get some more momentum rolling into the Fall.  Stay with me as I continue to fight toward achieving my dreams.  I'm going to get there soon.

    Welcome to 2013.  It has been some time since my last update and with good reason.  I needed to get away from the game.  I had several reasons for this decision.  After multiple years of missing at Q School on both the International and US front, I needed to reevaluate whether this crazy game was going to be my career path.  I took time this Winter to ponder just that and even snuck in a part time job at a local St. Louis Budweiser distributorship to further venture away from the game.  When Spring arrived, I had spent enough time in the "penalty box" and realized golf is not only my passion, but beats the heck out of any other job this world has to offer.  Along the way these past years, there have been definitely times where the job part of golf for me has got in the way of the enjoyment of the game.  Working this Winter in a real blue collar setting helped me realized that people in jobs in every capacity of the working world hate their jobs at some point.  Golf is everything to me, and to let it go is unthinkable.  The humbling work I put in this Winter drove the message in loud and clear:  Golf is just a game and I am blessed to be able to play it for a living.
 
    The other thing I took away from this Winter is that I want to dial my schedule back so that I am as fresh as I can be heading into the Fall Q School.  In all the years past I have put the full court press on in terms of playing in tournaments from March till October when Q School started.  By the time the Fall rolled around, I was burnt out on travel and it took its toll both physically and mentally.  This year, not only am I starting the season late, but I am making sure to schedule breaks throughout the season to ensure come the Fall I am 100% both mentally and physically.

    The season for me is just getting under way.  Don't think that I am some rusty washed up golfer.  I practiced six days a week and worked out like Rocky Balboa this off season.  My first tournament of the year was the PGA Tour Canada Qualifying Tournament in California.  It was 312 guys for 20 cards.  I started out of the gates slowly and was unable to make up enough ground late to get in the mix.  This made me have to reshuffle my proposed schedule for the year, but all was not lost.  I am going to play in a hodgepodge of different events and qualifiers that best gets me ready for the Fall. Two weeks ago I played an NGA Tour event and finished T27 with very poor putting. Last week I was in Charlottesville, Virginia for an Egolf event.  I missed the cut with poor putting, but my ball striking was exceptional.  As soon as my putting resurfaces, I know all the other elements of my game are there and great things lie ahead.

The pictures above are all pretty neat to me.  The first one is from a town 90 minutes West of Calgary.  I am headed to Calgary Sunday to play in next week's PGA Tour Canada Monday Qualifier.  It is on my itinerary to head west to Banff to check out the scenery, and I think the picture shows why.  The second picture is of the course I played last week just outside Charlottesville.  It is called Spring Creek and is one of the best maintained courses I have ever played.  The cross cutting of the green surrounds indicates just how in tune the course superintendent was with perfection.  The final picture is my favorite.  It is of a small bar in Charlottesville called Miller's.  Why does this have any significance?  This was where one of my heroes, Dave Matthews, got his start many moons ago.  He bartended here as he started his career to supplement some income and met several of his band members inside this very bar.  It is where he served his apprenticeship as he made it in the music world.  As I sat in Miller's last week for a dinner by myself, I could not help thinking about the parallels Dave Matthews faced in the early 90's as I am now.  He was struggling to find his way and pouring his heart and soul into what he loved just like me.  The road will take on many twists and turns as 2013 unfolds, but I look forward to the opportunity to find my success with a new outlook and a refreshed game that is ready to make it happen.  Thanks for reading.