I am sitting here in Scotland in a Bed and Breakfast updating you all with the unfortunate news that I will not be playing in the British Open in 2010.  Above is a picture I took from St. Andrews with the bleachers on 18 as empty as my heart is at the moment.  I have traveled from far and wide to get here and spent thousands of dollars on my journey to turn up a bit short of realizing my dream.  I must say it has been a marvelous trip here in the brief 5 days I have been here.  It was a bit of a spiritual experience I could say getting to play the windswept link of Scotland.  It is just pure golf over here.  None of the fancy clubhouses or any of that other frivolous extra stuff you would find in America.  I have not had this much fun playing golf since I first picked up a club when I was eight.  Though I didn't make it, I realized even more how special this game is to me.  The creativity required over here is second to none and the quality of the course I played rivals any I have ever walked.  Kingsbarns Golf Links hosted the qualifier.  There were 72 participants qualifying for 3 spots into the Open Championship at St. Andrews.  I opened up play in the morning with a two under par 70.  This put me in 6th place and just one shot off the pace of qualifying.  I played so well this morning and had every intention of carrying on my great play into the afternoon.  For whatever reason, I got off to a horrific start on my second 18 and I dug a hole early that I was unable to climb out of.  It was extremely painful to withstand as I watched before my eyes my spot in the open blow away into the Scottish wind with a 78 that left me a distance from where I needed to be.  I only needed to copy and paste my opening 70 from the morning into the afternoon and I would have qualified with a score of 140.  My playing partner Jamie Abbott qualified through and I expect great things from him in the British Open.  2010 thus far has really been tough on me from a results standpoint.  I am on the cusp of breaking through, I just haven't found a way to do so.  This must be my 10th blogpost this year in which I say the same thing like I am a broken record.  I would be lying to you if I didn't admit the travel and poor results really are hard to overcome mentally when things just aren't going your way.  The truth is things are actually going my way, just crazily not quite enough to cross the finish line on top.  It is as if I was in a 100 yard dash and with 5 yards to go I have tripped and fell every time.  95 percent of my execution on the course is spot on, but the other 5 percent is just tricking me up enough at the absolutely wrong times during the course of play that it is hindering me from being successful.  Much of this goes beyond the physical tools I have and delves into a deeper mental side.  I have to have complete belief in myself and the utmost confidence in what I am doing at all times to make this happen.  Right now I know I don't have this with me for all 18 holes of each round.  Once I find this there won't be any stopping me.  I head home tomorrow and then head directly to the PGA Tour John Deere Pre Qualifier in Quad Cities, Iowa.  I know in my heart of hearts I am going to break out soon.  I hope that I can believe it and trust it completely in Iowa.  Thanks for your support.

I am in Bentonville, Arkansas this week as mentioned with the Hooters Tour.  Bentonville may ring a bell with some of you because it is the home of Walmart.  Well the 1st two rounds are in the books and I came in with a 1 over par 143 total.  This is my third year playing here and for whatever reason I just have never really put it all together on this layout.  It is a great course that I like, for whatever reason scoring has always been hard for me here.  As of right now it looks like I am going to be taking the weekend off by one shot.  Its crazy how golf can just come down to one shot when I am on the course for a total of 10 hours.  I hit a lot of really nice shots the first two days, which was pleasant after Monday's US Open debacle which was emotionally scarring.  However, I had 4 pathetic three putts that really hurt my scoring and momentum.  A couple of straightforward chip shots that didn't come off the wedge as planned also led to a couple pathetic bogeys that should have been routine pars.  All that adds up and instead of being around 5 under par barring the 3 putts and misfired chips, I am sitting in my room biting my nails looking at missing the cut.  Anyway, thats how it goes some times.  Regardless I head about an hour south from here Sunday to Fort Smith for the Nationwide Monday Qualifier.  This is a welcome relief from a travel stand point.  I am used to flying cross country for these qualifiers and sitting in airports just waiting my turn.  This week I get to make an easy commute from one location to the next.  Hopefully this will help put me in a more relaxed frame of mind and I can go out and play my game.  The older I get the more I have realized for me I play my best golf when I am not rushed and am completely relaxed and calm on the first tee.  This week's travel itinerary affords me just that.  I can't wait to tee it up on Monday and play a great round.  Oh and I have also just started a new working relationship with the clothing company Fairway and Greene, which I will be supporting on the course here for the rest of the season.  They year in and year out have put together some great collections and I look forward to playing great in their line from here on out in 2010.  Update soon!

First off, whoever you are that keeps posting spam under my comments, shame on you.  You are a waste of space that gets off on ruining my site that I put my heart and soul into.  As you can probably tell I am running a little hot under the collar.  The reason being is I just got off the course in my US Open Qualifier and posted 79, 81 for a stellar 36 holes of golf.  I was on the course today for 9 hours searching for all that time for some semblance of a golf game.  It was soooo frustrating to know that I was on the brink of playing at Pebble Beach in my 2nd US Open and I walked away today feeling like I got run over by a truck.  Lets get the facts straight.  This was a hard course.  The greens were very fast and very firm.  The rough was high, so it put an absolute premium on driving the ball in the fairway to be able to impart some spin on the ball coming into the greens.  I didn't drive the ball worth a darn and from there everything else spiraled out of control.  I made 5 double bogeys in 36 holes.  I keep harping on eliminating these huge numbers off the card and it keeps biting me in the butt.  I fly out of Philadelphia tomorrow morning to St. Louis to regroup for a 1/2 day before continuing on to a Hooters event in Bentonville, Arkansas which starts in 3 days.  One week from today I will be playing in the Fort Smith Nationwide Monday Qualifier trying to get back on track.  Today was just one day.  The good news is I still have a pulse and a warm body.  I am going to have to move along from this and pick myself up.  This is definitely the worst I have felt in a while, and it is perfectly human for me to feel that way.  After the Arkansas swing next week, which hopefully will be extended another week with a successful Monday Qualifier attempt, I will have some time to get ready for my British Open Qualifier June 29th in Scotland.  That is the saving grace of all this.  Today may not have gone according to plan, but I fully intend to make up for it June 29th by punching my ticket to St. Andrews for this year's British Open.  2010 is going to be my year and I won't take NO for an answer.