Time for an update, and this one may help me get some thoughts in my mind out in the open. The past couple months on the course have been frustrating. The older I get, I get more introspective and smart. When things aren't going my way, it's very human of me to dive in even harder and grind and put all the effort on the world to fix my troubles. I'll start in Winnipeg. I got off to a terrible start and
rebounded nicely in the middle and latter parts of my round to get it back. In fact I had climbed up to 12th place on a hard scoring day. I sat in a nice lie in the rough on 17 and proceeded to hit a huge block with a wedge and it ended up in a bush. I had to take an unplayable and was on the short side and took 4 more shots from there for a triple bogey. I made par on 18 and walked off the course deflated. I had worked so hard after a crappy start to rebound and I lost all my momentum over the course of 5 minutes of crappy golf on one hole. The next day I was on the cut line the majority of the day and it wore me out. I made a handful of poor swings on my last nine holes that translated to bogeys. It was another missed cut by a handful. The part that bothered me the most though was looking back on the two days it was disappointing because it wasn't fun for me. It was a total grind where I was uber focused on the cut line the moment 17 happened the first day. I have to do a better job of shaking off that bad stuff happens to everybody on the course. I also have to get out of the mentality of worrying about cuts. This is a rookie mistake and I'm in year 10. When golf seems hard and I am a little off, it's easy to get lured into that trap of cut line expectations. I'm better than that and my expectations should be set to a higher standard than limiting myself to just making the weekend. It's all psychological really.

I played in a couple Web.com Monday qualifiers after Winnipeg and suffered through a combination of the same problems. Stressing over what number it would take to get through on that day and fighting my golf swing where I was having trouble trusting it because of some swing issues. The results led to bad golf as it's easy to see. Fast forward to this week. I'm in Edmonton, Alberta for another Canadian Tour event. I had to come out early again because it looked like I would have to do the Monday qualifier. I teed it up Monday in a hard rain and began my quest to get in. On hole 10 I received the good news that I had got in the event due to a series of withdrawals! For the next 3 days I put together a great game plan and was ready to execute. My mind was sound and confident heading into day one, but unfortunately my poor golf swings continued to fault me. I played the five par 3s in an agonizing 4 over par which further showed my iron game was detrimental due to a couple technical aspects I've got a bit off on. You can't play tournament golf with technical thoughts running through your brain and that is the hard part about where I'm at right now. I signed on day one for a 73 and was still in it because I grinded it out. On day two I got off to another lousy start but rebounded with a couple birdies to end my front nine. I knew I needed two or three more birdies to make the weekend. I wasn't stressing out about the cut line, but it adds pressure knowing what I needed. I didn't get off to a great start after 3 putting number 10. I knew I'd need explosive golf coming in to get it done. On 11 I found myself in a mediocre lie in the rough facing a second shot over water going for a par 5. I decided to be aggressive and it back fired. I hit it in the water, dropped and made a sloppy mess of the rest of the hole from there for a double bogey seven. Game, set, match. It was so frustrating to have to play the last seven holes going through the motions with no end game. I signed for a 74 and missed the weekend by six shots.

So where do I go from here? I head to Calgary this weekend where once again it really does look like I will have to get through the Monday qualifier to be in the field this coming week. In order for me to do that I have to be better on a couple fronts. I have to actually enjoy being on the golf course and the game itself rather than facing the anxiety of a cut line or what I have to shoot. This thought process has got to stop. It's deadly, and makes a results oriented business a miserable place to be. I have to let it come to me by letting my talent shine through with a smile and my confident athleticism. Secondly, from a technical standpoint I have to do a better job of making a good turn into my right side. This is the engine that sparked this onslaught of bad golf. Getting in a bad habit in wind and rain of not getting into my right side has led me to start hitting the ball low and making glancing, steep swings. This resulted in poor shots, which led to doubt, which led to confidence erosion, which led to putting myself in a bad spot on the leaderboard, which fueled bad thoughts in my head about score and cut lines. So long story short, I have to be very technical in my practice this weekend about fixing this and getting a better coil on my backswing.  The most critical part of this is
leaving this on the range and going to the course as an athlete and reacting to targets and not playing golf with technique but with feel. The hard part is done in preparation. When I blend that in with happiness, excitement, and enjoyment on the course I will be back to playing great. No more scorecard anxiety!  I'm ready to push forward and get back to my successful self. I've put in a bunch of hard work this year and it's starting to pay off. I'm not going to let a handful of events that didn't go my way erode all that. I'm mentally tough and I'm going to persevere. Thanks for reading and your support. I'm ready to go play great and enjoy life and golf along the way. Until next time.