It's time for another update.  I have played in three one day events since my last post and played poorly in each event.  I played on April 30th in a Nationwide Qualifier in Athens, Georgia on a picture perfect day on an easy course.  I shot an even par 72 on a day where six under 66 was the number required to get through.  I was two under par early in my round, but gave those two shots back as my round progressed, and finished a distant 6 shots from where I needed to be.  Over this past weekend, I played in the unofficial opening tournament in Saint Louis at the legendary Forest Park Golf Course in the heart of the city.  It is a unique course that twists and turns its away around the middle of a sprawling park, where it is not uncommon to be distracted by skateboarders, runners, buses, wedding parties, picnic goers, and much, much more.  I once again struggled to a five over par 75.  Finally, today I had my local qualifying for the US Open.  I struggled to a five over par 76 on a tough course that demanded crisp ball striking, and accurate driving.  These three days of competitive golf really have me scratching my head, and leaves a sour taste in my mouth.  I wanted so badly to qualify for the US Open this year in San Francisco at Olympic Club where I played my last amateur tournament of my career in the US Amateur in 2007.  I bowed out really quickly from the qualifying by not even putting up a remotely competitive round of golf today, where I seemed lost from the onset.  I was nervous because I really wanted to perform well today, unfortunately I never settled down and the jittery feeling just never went away.  Over my last month and a half, I have missed 3 Monday qualifiers, missed two cuts by 1 shot, missed the US Open Local qualifier, and played poorly in an additional one day event in my hometown.  I by no means am trying to be a downer by writing this, but I want to put it in writing that my results speak for themselves, and I am extremely frustrated with my performance and getting absolutely zero positive results at day's end.
    This is a night where I need to put my foot down and draw a line in the sand.  I can either continue agonizing about my poor play, or I can flush these results out of my mind and move forward.  I am home for one more week.  This is very rare for me during my summer which keeps me on the road more days than not.  This gives me seven days to get organized and push forward with my game on the range.  I have a competitive break in my schedule, and this comes at a great time.  I need this week to get myself recharged both physically and mentally.  I want to succeed in this game so bad, and for me, I always fight the battle of wanting to succeed so much that it actually hurts me.  I am going to use the rest of this week to work extremely hard, but in a very relaxed setting.  I am going to be home, which feels really good, am I need to get back to the root of what has allowed me to succeed at this game:  having fun and just trusting in my instincts.  There is no better place for me to do this than at my childhood course in Saint Louis where I will be practicing the rest of the week.  The past few months have yielded few positive results, but I continue to take with me the fact that I am hitting a ton of really good shots.  Golf is such a game of momentum and confidence.  I mean, this really is what yields success.  All I need is just a spark of success.  I'm telling you, if I can get just an ounce of positive results here shortly, that will be the drop of gasoline that is going to start my burning forest fire of great golf.  I'm going to use this week of hard work to really put myself in position next week when I hit the road again in Kentucky to go out and finally get my year going.  If you haven't figured it out already, I am about as competitive a person you will find on all of planet Earth.  I have some news for you.  I am SICK, I mean SICK of losing.  I'm ready to change this soon.  If you get knocked down on the ground enough times, at some point you come to the realization that you don't want to be bloody and beaten any longer.  I'm getting up off the mat, and I'm ready to fight and start winning.  That is who I am.  I am a WINNER, and a good one at that.    Thanks for reading, and all of your support.  I'm ready to get things rolling.