As I am sure you are well aware I once again did not advance through the 1st stage of Q School. The tournament was contested on a long, tough golf course that really suited my game, but I just never put my best foot forward all week. I got off to a nervous start the first day with a 75. I will be honest I was extremely nervous and tense that first day and just never settled down. I rallied the 3rd round with a 68 to put myself in a tie for 23rd place. Directly on the magic number of 23 players and ties who would advance. The final round in the end all I needed was a round of 72 and I would have moved on. Instead I came with a 76, my highest competitive round since June 9th where I shot the same score in Tennessee. It was one of the most frustrating ends to the year and it all happened so fast and so early. I had such a remarkably consistent year and all signs pointed towards me finally moving up the professional ranks. I won't lie I am still in shock and it really hasn't hit me yet completely. When I am at a low point, all I can help but notice are the negative things. I feel like my golf career is slightly passing me by. Yea, I may only be 25 years old (its my birthday today actually), but it feels like I am stuck in a rut in the mini tours and the hole I have to climb out of keeps getting deeper and deeper. My golf game is night and day more refined and better that a year ago, but I am still scrapping it out on the mini tours in little small towns that honestly are often times difficult to withstand week in and week out. I'm glad I have friends to travel with! Its easy to get caught up in being jealous of all my friends that are part of the PGA Tour circus and all the glam and hype and freebies that go along with it. I want to be part of that tour so bad I can't even try to type a way to describe that feeling. Quite possibly that is part of what is holding me back. If you want something so badly, often times that can almost do more harm than good because you get in your own way. I have always been told nobody likes to listen to a complainer. That is exactly what I am doing right now, but to be honest this blog really does help me get rid of some of those inner demons and frustrations just by getting it off my chest and onto the computer screen. I will be on the PGA Tour some day. I know it as a fact, its just a matter of when. 2010 will be another year of the same. Competitive mini tour tournaments and a good handful of Monday Qualifiers. The Monday Qualifier is the tiniest of outlets that keep my dream alive week in, week out that I can at any time jump to the next level. In fact this year, I can sum up the FACT that I was only 2 shots away from being a full time professional on the Nationwide Tour in 2010 due to my 2 shot loss in Springfield, Missouri in August. I am in a lot of pain and hurt inside right now, but when it subsides and I move on I will be stronger for it as a person and as a golfer. Right now I just need some patience and perseverance to get me along. For the remainder of 2009 I will be playing in a few Hooters Winter Series events. I hope everyone has a very great remainder of 2009 and I will be back soon. 2009 for me may have not ended the way I wanted, but it was a successful year due to the reemergence of my golf game. My game has come out of hibernation, and 2010 will be the best year yet.